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mark_asphodelThis is kind of an intersection of fan-interests wrt Fire Emblem and personal experience, because personal experience is, after all what we often bring to the table when writing.
Nine years ago, I moved cross-country to be with my fiance, who is now my most excellent spouse. I packed up my stuff, or a good chunk of it anyway, said good-bye to the folks, and left California in the U-Haul, doing an about-face on the journey some of my ancestors took in the Conestoga wagon back in the day. I was leaving home-- uprooting myself from home-- and knew it. There wasn't really any question of going back if the whole thing didn't work out.
While my new state of Michigan is still foreign territory in many respects, and likely always will be, it's home now. I love my house, and my town, and enjoy the network of meaningful interactions that make up daily living. The history and culture of the place interest me, as both an alien and a resident. The landscape and the climate, while not what I'm used to, have their own beauty, real and compelling.
I'm not Cloud Nine happy all the time-- who is?-- but there's a lot of be content about. Satisfied about. Pleased with.
So I do take it a wee bit personally when I see it asserted in fandom that Character A could never be happy with Character B because (gasp!) she (and it's usually "she") would have to leave home and everything they care about, and they don't belong wherever they're going.
O RLY?
Excuse me for thinking it's something of a slight to the female characters to assume that they're such fragile creatures their little psyches can't a cross-continent move to with some guy they might, you know, actually love. Especially when I don't think I've ever seen anyone protest Ike/Soren on the grounds that it's cruel to Soren to have to follow Ike to goddess-knows-where. (Someone, somewhere, has likely lodged that complaint, but I've not seen it.) There appears to be an assumption that male characters can choose to go wandering, or to take over this country or that empire that has nothing to do with their birthplace, and that's OK... but if a female character crosses the mountains for the sake of some stupid guy, well it's borderline abuse.
[And yet the most extreme example of this, Eliwood/Ninian, does not attract the same criticism that I've ever seen. Go figure.]
But this isn't really a pairing rant, it's a love rant. Because, actually, love does make a difference. Having the choice that you exercise makes a difference. I was hauled off to Tennessee by the parental units against my will at age 7 1/2, spent ten years biding my time in what I termed "the Babylonian Captivity"[*], and bolted at the first opportunity. Hate that place. Hated it so much I never managed to assimilate-- I fought it. California was home, the promised land, the place I wanted and needed to get back to, by any means. And yet, after four years of university in said promised land, I was able to pack up and move on, because the person I loved and wanted to share my life with was rooted elsewhere. It was my choice, though. I could've gone back to Tennessee. I picked the great unknown instead.
It's hard, often, to be so far from my own family. (And sometimes, it makes things much easier!). It's hard to be outside of the actual climate and territory that is "home" to me. Going back to California, in the handful of times I've returned, has always been deeply, sometimes paralyzingly, emotional. But when you add up the years, I've been away from there for two-thirds of my life now. Being there marked defining periods in my life, both as a child and a young adult, but so has my time in Michigan. So did Tennesseethough mostly in bad ways.
I made a choice, for both calculated and for thoroughly irrational reasons, and I stuck it out and don't regret it. I've had some of the most difficult years of my life here... and many of the most rewarding. So, yeah, it does hit me a little bit personally when I see someone claiming that Character A couldn't be happy, no no never, because Lyn-in-Lycia or Eirika-in-Frelia is just wrong, and implying that these ladies are somehow not acting of their own free will, or in their own best interests. Well, it could be wrong. It could be coerced, or miserable, or a puddle of pointless self-sacrifice. It could be character-building, horizon-expanding, and deeply loving and fulfilling, too. It can be whatever you want it to be-- you're the one writing the meta, or the story. All canon does is allow for these things to happen.
But a home, a place to belong, is often what you want it to be, too. And sometimes, you do encounter a person that's worth abandoning your own personal promised land. You might even discover a new one along the way.
* Overdramatic child that I was, this was an x-ref to the Avignon Popes and not the oppressed peoples of Israel under the Babylonians.
Nine years ago, I moved cross-country to be with my fiance, who is now my most excellent spouse. I packed up my stuff, or a good chunk of it anyway, said good-bye to the folks, and left California in the U-Haul, doing an about-face on the journey some of my ancestors took in the Conestoga wagon back in the day. I was leaving home-- uprooting myself from home-- and knew it. There wasn't really any question of going back if the whole thing didn't work out.
While my new state of Michigan is still foreign territory in many respects, and likely always will be, it's home now. I love my house, and my town, and enjoy the network of meaningful interactions that make up daily living. The history and culture of the place interest me, as both an alien and a resident. The landscape and the climate, while not what I'm used to, have their own beauty, real and compelling.
I'm not Cloud Nine happy all the time-- who is?-- but there's a lot of be content about. Satisfied about. Pleased with.
So I do take it a wee bit personally when I see it asserted in fandom that Character A could never be happy with Character B because (gasp!) she (and it's usually "she") would have to leave home and everything they care about, and they don't belong wherever they're going.
O RLY?
Excuse me for thinking it's something of a slight to the female characters to assume that they're such fragile creatures their little psyches can't a cross-continent move to with some guy they might, you know, actually love. Especially when I don't think I've ever seen anyone protest Ike/Soren on the grounds that it's cruel to Soren to have to follow Ike to goddess-knows-where. (Someone, somewhere, has likely lodged that complaint, but I've not seen it.) There appears to be an assumption that male characters can choose to go wandering, or to take over this country or that empire that has nothing to do with their birthplace, and that's OK... but if a female character crosses the mountains for the sake of some stupid guy, well it's borderline abuse.
[And yet the most extreme example of this, Eliwood/Ninian, does not attract the same criticism that I've ever seen. Go figure.]
But this isn't really a pairing rant, it's a love rant. Because, actually, love does make a difference. Having the choice that you exercise makes a difference. I was hauled off to Tennessee by the parental units against my will at age 7 1/2, spent ten years biding my time in what I termed "the Babylonian Captivity"[*], and bolted at the first opportunity. Hate that place. Hated it so much I never managed to assimilate-- I fought it. California was home, the promised land, the place I wanted and needed to get back to, by any means. And yet, after four years of university in said promised land, I was able to pack up and move on, because the person I loved and wanted to share my life with was rooted elsewhere. It was my choice, though. I could've gone back to Tennessee. I picked the great unknown instead.
It's hard, often, to be so far from my own family. (And sometimes, it makes things much easier!). It's hard to be outside of the actual climate and territory that is "home" to me. Going back to California, in the handful of times I've returned, has always been deeply, sometimes paralyzingly, emotional. But when you add up the years, I've been away from there for two-thirds of my life now. Being there marked defining periods in my life, both as a child and a young adult, but so has my time in Michigan. So did Tennessee
I made a choice, for both calculated and for thoroughly irrational reasons, and I stuck it out and don't regret it. I've had some of the most difficult years of my life here... and many of the most rewarding. So, yeah, it does hit me a little bit personally when I see someone claiming that Character A couldn't be happy, no no never, because Lyn-in-Lycia or Eirika-in-Frelia is just wrong, and implying that these ladies are somehow not acting of their own free will, or in their own best interests. Well, it could be wrong. It could be coerced, or miserable, or a puddle of pointless self-sacrifice. It could be character-building, horizon-expanding, and deeply loving and fulfilling, too. It can be whatever you want it to be-- you're the one writing the meta, or the story. All canon does is allow for these things to happen.
But a home, a place to belong, is often what you want it to be, too. And sometimes, you do encounter a person that's worth abandoning your own personal promised land. You might even discover a new one along the way.
* Overdramatic child that I was, this was an x-ref to the Avignon Popes and not the oppressed peoples of Israel under the Babylonians.
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Date: 2011-09-20 04:38 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-09-21 02:33 am (UTC)Respect.