Fic Update: "Perfect World"

[mark_asphodel]

 OK, so I managed to finish the entry for Challenge 007 before taking off for the land of No Internet.

Basically, it's all my ideas, crack and otherwise, for a certain FE12 (dis)continuity, which is still clearly a sore point with me.  So, no.  I didn't make up the part about the pendant, or the part about Minerva letting her pegasus loose in the woods.  Those both come from Minerva's support convos as translated by the lovely shimizu_hitomi .  As for the rest of it... 


#1-- Est go bye-bye.  Canon.

#2-- Catria skips off to the mainland.  With Minerva abdicating any authority and Michalis being a dick, I think the peg sisters are left with a sorry set of options.  Catria's loyalties in FE12 do appear to be divided to the point where she thinks it'd be an A-OK world with Marth in charge. 

#3-- Michalis attacks Valencia.  Because it's easier to write than future!Judgral, and because I want Alm and Cellica to kick his ass.  Bows have crazy range in FE2, after all-- dracoknights would be toast.

#4-- Palla defects to Valencia.  Only way to get out of that situation with any dignity or honor.

#5-- Maria.  The stuff I've read about her in FE12 creeps me out and I'm still not convinced that the priestesses came through that mess unscathed.  I think Julian, given that he lives with Lena, would be kind of an expert in post-traumatic priestess syndrome by that point.

#6-- Yes, that's Rody at the end.  I shoehorn in my favorite characters.  Because I can.


I was pretty happy... maybe relieved is a better word... with this when I finished it, but the more I read over it the more I don't like it.  I feel like it came quickly because I've essentially written this story before, in bits and pieces deployed elsewhere.  Even worse, I'm again getting the feeling that I've read sections of this before.  Maybe in my own original 'fic, maybe in professional works, I dunno.  But nothing ruins your day like looking over a paragraph and saying, "now where the hell did that actually come from?"

When I get back to the world of 'Net access, I think I'm going to attempt an essay (essay an essay, hah) about what happens when writers get too comfortable with their own versions of characters.  It's been bugging me for sometime, and after working on this, it REALLY bugs me.

Comments

[samuraiter.livejournal.com]

I sense that our stories are going to be strangely complementary, since Michalis and I have been sitting for a chat. (All of those notes that Hitomi has been taking have been immensely fertile for ideas.)

As for my own versions of characters, I do think that would be a good discussion to have. :-)

[myaru.livejournal.com]

On Maria: my reading of the translations has been kind of scattered, but I don't recall seeing all that much about Maria's behavior or dialogue so far. Is this your interpretation, or was your take on her problem after the war inspired by something in the game?

This isn't a criticism, as I like the idea. I seriously doubt any of them would be quite normal after that, but the ways the experience affected them could be vastly different, and Maria in particular seems very naive and determined to think the best of people. How that would be after being a hostage, never mind being possessed...

[mark-asphodel.livejournal.com]

Is this your interpretation, or was your take on her problem after the war inspired by something in the game?

Well, the tipping point was some babble between Minerva and Michalis about a "glowing light" that Maria emits (!)... I think it's from the scenes near the end of the game; Hitomi's translations would have it. Maria's holy innocence is played up SO much that it was kind of creepy to me, especially given a) the whole soul-shattering business and b) the way the Macedon-sibs thing plays out overall. Having her be so holy, so innocent, that it's counterproductive is one way of dealing with it.

[penandpaper71.livejournal.com]

The whole Macedon situation is just odd with the changes made to canon in FE12. I'm still not sure what to do with any of it.

... and I'm still not convinced that the priestesses came through that mess unscathed.

I doubt that this was your intention, but this comment makes the weirdness of Elice's reaction in her recruitment scene with Merric (well, I still think it's weird at least) really creepy. It's not the first time the thought has come up, but it caught me by surprise today for some reason.

Yes, that's Rody at the end. I shoehorn in my favorite characters. Because I can.

Well, for whatever it's worth, I was happy to see him. ^_^

The review for your fic is coming soon. I'm sleepy today and I'm not nearly awake enough right now to be able to put together a decent review for anything. I plan to start trying to way through the fe_contest fics tomorrow if possible.

[mark-asphodel.livejournal.com]

but this comment makes the weirdness of Elice's reaction in her recruitment scene with Merric

No, that's very much in the back of my mind whenever the topic re: the priestesses comes up. Rape metaphors come to mind, too, especially where Elice is concerned. That's part of the reason the Elice/Merric ending feels so very wrong.

No problem. I'm pretty overwhelmed myself right now.

[shimizu-hitomi.livejournal.com]

I love your Julian, and Palla defecting = win.

#3-- Michalis attacks Valencia. Because it's easier to write than future!Judgral, and because I want Alm and Cellica to kick his ass. Bows have crazy range in FE2, after all-- dracoknights would be toast.

After exploring TearRing Saga a bit, I believe there's yet another option for the "other continent" now. There's an interesting thread on that here (http://serenesforest.net/forums/index.php?showtopic=20243), though I haven't gotten far enough into the game yet to remark on it myself. That said, Valencia is still my favorite option, because the idea of Alm and Cellica kicking Michalis's butt is just so satisfying on some level. (Loved how you incorporated gameplay elements into that, btw.)

re: Rody, for some reason I read him as Abel at first -- for me it was indicative of how far removed Minerva had become from reality that she had even forgotten Est's ex-husband... But I figured that couldn't make much sense, since Abel went bye-bye too.

I think I'm going to attempt an essay (essay an essay, hah) about what happens when writers get too comfortable with their own versions of characters

I look forward to seeing this too.

[mark-asphodel.livejournal.com]

I love your Julian, and Palla defecting = win

:D

I don't know why I find Julian more compelling than Lena. Lena has a complex and fascinating backstory but she really just leaves me uninvolved.

I believe there's yet another option for the "other continent" now.

Oh, wow. Planet Kaga indeed. Though having Valencia so far to the west of Archanea that it'd be closer to approach from the east rather stretches the idea that two pegasus knights flew there on their own. Also, the old rumor/map I remember had Judgral to the northwest of Archanea, not the other way 'round... but who knows how accurate any of that was. Archanea is pretty clearly a northern-hemisphere continent, and might well be at a pretty high latitude.

Though it would be really weird for modern FE games to be referencing TRS, heh.

Loved how you incorporated gameplay elements into that, btw.

The OP bows, man. Heheheh.

re: Rody, for some reason I read him as Abel at first

Hmm. I wonder if other readers will get the same impression. Hmm.