DVD Commentary Meme

[mark_asphodel]

Stolen from Ammie on tumblr.

Pick any passage of 500 words or less from any fanfic I’ve written, and stick that selection in a comment. I will then give you the equivalent of a DVD commentary on that snippet: what I was thinking when I wrote it, why I wrote it in the first place, what’s going on in the character’s heads, why I chose certain words, what this moment means in the context of the rest of the fic, lots of awful puns, and anything else that you’d expect to find on a DVD commentary track.

And I do mean "any," so feel free to poke at Archanea-fic, Magvel-fic, and crackfic in addition to the Jugdral-centric stuff.  Obviously I ought to remember the more recent scribbles with more clarity and depth but if you go after "Starchild" or "Another Piece of Blue" or whatever I should have something to say.

Comments

[samuraiter]

This might look familiar:

* * * *

Michalis invited her to have dinner in the King's Apartments that night; Melissa knew it was very, very special to get to have dinner in the King's Apartments and she asked the servants to dress her up in her very finest gown. Her clothes wouldn't surprise Michalis, as he'd bought them all for her, but he'd never seen her in them, either, so it would be a little bit of a surprise. She had on a pale-blue gown edged in silver, and her hair was done up like a fine lady's, and she even wore the pendant that was a gift from Grandmother. The pendant was old but it was quite a nice piece and Melissa thought it looked good enough with her new clothes.

The King's Dining Room was all red and gold; even the dishes were gold, or at least silvergilt, and there was a great golden fish spouting wine in the middle of the table. There wasn't anybody else at the table but her and Michalis, King of Macedon, and Melissa had never felt so special in all of her life. Well, almost never, anyway.

Melissa smiled the way Grandmother taught her and showed off her very best manners while the servants walked silently around them and laid course after course of wonderful things before her- little dishes of olives and vegetable fritters, rich soup and colorful salads, squash blossoms stuffed with meat and rice and spices, skewers of roasted fish, venison stew in wine, and on and on and on. Michalis did almost all of the talking and Melissa just nodded her head; one mustn't ever interrupt a king or speak to him without being spoken to, after all. He talked about politics, both inside Macedon and on the mainland of Archanea, and Melissa understood quite a lot of it- probably more than Michalis thought she did, really. But the whole effect was to show what a fine and important man Michalis, King of Macedon, really was, and how the continent was cradled in his hand even if the mainlanders didn't see it yet, and didn't Melissa agree? Wasn't Michalis absolutely instrumental in the victory at the Dragon's Altar? Wouldn't Lord Marth's army have been thwarted by dark powers had Michalis not been there to lend them aid?

Yes, yes, yes. Melissa nodded her agreement to every word, right up to the moment when she was served a dish of rice pudding sprinkled with gold dust and rose petals. She'd figured out her part in the game before they'd even got to the venison stew; just like young Lord Edwin, King Michalis wanted something from her. Only Michalis understood the right way to go about it, and Melissa hoped he would understand why she wasn't going to give him anything more than a smile until he gave her something more substantial than gold dust.

She was, after all, a young lady of breeding and virtue, and as her grandmother's granddaughter, Melissa wouldn't settle for anything less.

i hope you meant it when you said "any" :D;;;

[queenlua]

Ephraim dreamed of Lyon that night- Lyon as he'd been during their years at the Academy, a small figure tucked into a gray cadet's uniform. But the ribbons and badges on his jacket were all wrong, and when Ephraim asked about them, Cadet Granville began explaining about battles that wouldn't happen for another decade.

"This is for the battle I died in," the dream-Lyon said, pointing to a black satin band on his arm.

Try as he might, after he woke Ephraim couldn't recall the name of that fatal encounter. He lay staring at the ceiling as the hours of the night wore on toward dawn, trying to banish the Lyon from the dream by recalling the real Lyon Granville and reliving memory.

It was the summer of their freedom, the summer of graduation, though Ephraim was dissatisfied that he didn't know his post-Academy future quite yet. He'd put in for the cavalry but hadn't heard anything back, so he went down to the Carolinas in a civilian's suit instead of a crisp new uniform. Eirika came with him, bringing with her a magnificent dress of carmine velvet over white satin- all to represent Kentucky before the gentry of South Carolina, of course. Nothing to do with the watercolor Lyon once had made of a girl with a strong resemblance to Eirika in a carmine dress.

Lyon had told Ephraim bits and pieces about his father's house, but he'd never let on the grandeur of the place. Grado plantation looked like a palace, with its white colonnade and formal gardens; it dwarfed the Kingston estate of Renais. Ephraim had heard that South Carolina was the true heart of the South, its finest expression of courtesy and culture. He guessed that was true; everyone was exceptionally gracious and so very refined. But the politeness was boring to Ephraim, and the beautiful women talked about books he'd never read and plays he'd never watched. He gravitated more toward Lyon's father, called "Colonel" out of courtesy though it wasn't his true rank. Vigarde Granville looked the part, though- looked a perfect Southern gentleman, Eirika said, with his wavy flowing hair and well-kept beard. He'd been in the Second Seminole War, and Ephraim would have listened to the Colonel share war stories all night except that Colonel Granville had guests to entertain, and it wouldn't do to neglect the belles present that evening.

Lyon beckoned Ephraim out onto the portico; Ephraim cast a glance at Eirika, who was dancing with Colonel Granville, and followed Lyon outside. Everything smelled like sweet jasmine and fireflies shimmered in the warm, damp air- like the stars had come down to join the dance, Lyon said. He was terribly thin, down to a hundred and fifteen pounds, and Ephraim hoped that Lyon wasn't starting to sicken in the summer heat. He'd always wondered how Lyon had managed to make it through four years at the Academy- really, it was a surprise that Lyon'd even passed the entrance physical.

Re: i hope you meant it when you said "any" :D;;;

[mark_asphodel]

I was kind of hoping someone would bring this one up...

Ephraim dreamed of Lyon that night- Lyon as he'd been during their years at the Academy, a small figure tucked into a gray cadet's uniform. But the ribbons and badges on his jacket were all wrong, and when Ephraim asked about them, Cadet Granville began explaining about battles that wouldn't happen for another decade.

"This is for the battle I died in," the dream-Lyon said, pointing to a black satin band on his arm.

So I was trying to write a premonitory dream sequence that wasn't ass. "Granville" (half-inched from "Grenville") seemed an appropriate last name for Lyon... though it's awfully close to "Grannvale" now, heh.

Try as he might, after he woke Ephraim couldn't recall the name of that fatal encounter. He lay staring at the ceiling as the hours of the night wore on toward dawn, trying to banish the Lyon from the dream by recalling the real Lyon Granville and reliving memory.

Just to keep stuff in suspense, of course.

It was the summer of their freedom, the summer of graduation, though Ephraim was dissatisfied that he didn't know his post-Academy future quite yet. He'd put in for the cavalry but hadn't heard anything back,

Based off actual misadventures with would-be cavalrymen... Grant comes to mind. Ephraim wouldn't have been a top-five student, after all.

so he went down to the Carolinas in a civilian's suit instead of a crisp new uniform. Eirika came with him, bringing with her a magnificent dress of carmine velvet over white satin- all to represent Kentucky before the gentry of South Carolina, of course. Nothing to do with the watercolor Lyon once had made of a girl with a strong resemblance to Eirika in a carmine dress.

I picked Kentucky to represent Renais for a couple of reasons-- the emphasis on cavalry and knight/warrior culture of course points the South for AU purposes, but the land-locked, torn-up status of actual in-game Renais suits a border state like Kentucky, and the way this was written FE's Team Blue is the Union in any event. It also suits Renais in that we've got prominent "traitors" like Orson, although of course many, many states had people that crossed lines.

As for Lyon being an artist... he needed something and "necromancy" wouldn't fly.

Lyon had told Ephraim bits and pieces about his father's house, but he'd never let on the grandeur of the place. Grado plantation looked like a palace, with its white colonnade and formal gardens; it dwarfed the Kingston estate of Renais. Ephraim had heard that South Carolina was the true heart of the South, its finest expression of courtesy and culture. He guessed that was true; everyone was exceptionally gracious and so very refined.

I was torn between making Grado Virginia or South Carolina and in the end geography and exoticism won out. Virginia's too close to Pennsylvania, which is of course where Innes is from and what he represents.

But the politeness was boring to Ephraim, and the beautiful women talked about books he'd never read and plays he'd never watched.

He's not dumb. He just don't care.

He gravitated more toward Lyon's father, called "Colonel" out of courtesy though it wasn't his true rank.

A little bit of falsity, there.

Vigarde Granville looked the part, though- looked a perfect Southern gentleman, Eirika said, with his wavy flowing hair and well-kept beard. He'd been in the Second Seminole War, and Ephraim would have listened to the Colonel share war stories all night except that Colonel Granville had guests to entertain, and it wouldn't do to neglect the belles present that evening.

I had buckets of fun writing this. Ought to finish it sometime.

Lyon beckoned Ephraim out onto the portico; Ephraim cast a glance at Eirika, who was dancing with Colonel Granville, and followed Lyon outside. Everything smelled like sweet jasmine

Specifically, star jasmine aka Confederate jasmine, which is very potent.

and fireflies shimmered in the warm, damp air- like the stars had come down to join the dance, Lyon said. He was terribly thin, down to a hundred and fifteen pounds,

Again details like this were pieced together from the backstories of actual Civil War participants.

and Ephraim hoped that Lyon wasn't starting to sicken in the summer heat. He'd always wondered how Lyon had managed to make it through four years at the Academy- really, it was a surprise that Lyon'd even passed the entrance physical.

Typical frail Lyon, but it works quite well with the concerns of the day.

[queenlua]

—dude I did not even catch the Granville/Greenville thing oh my god that is perfect haha.

Interesting that you were picking between Virginia and South Carolina for Grado! I had actually assumed you'd picked South Carolina since they were the first to secede and often the most vocal all that :P

I had buckets of fun writing this. Ought to finish it sometime.

:DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

yes. :P